This started out about my now-yearly blog post about why I’m signing up for Me Made May, but has turned into something a little different. So please, humour me for a minute while I get completely personal on you all.
About 6 months ago, I started taking the pill again. I last took it until I was about 21 and had no discernible issues. This time, I don’t think I’ve been so lucky.
For the last few months, I’ve been struggling with some of the most intense and unpredictable mood swings I’ve ever experienced in my life. At points my mood has been lower than it has ever been before, I have struggled to concentrate at work and I’ve been more negative and cynical than I usually am. When it hits me, it feels like I’m stuck in a pit of despair and just can’t get out.
I sleep it off, try to make the most of a new day but then something triggers the cycle all over again. It’s just not me. I’m the girl who once did a six-hour Karate grading with a chest infection – I like to think I’m tough. Not that people with mental health issues aren’t tough, because my god, they are some of the toughest people I know.
It’s more this debilitating recurring feeling that I can’t do my job, my blog, anything right has shaken me to the core. Whatever has been happening for these last few months has undermined everything I thought I knew about myself and my personality. It’s jarring.
I went to my doctor yesterday, who was brilliant and gave me lots of options including counselling if I want it. Here’s hoping now I’m *officially* off the pill, my moods may get a little closer to what I’m used to. Fortunately, I’ve caught it soon enough before it did any serious damage and I’m already feeling 10 times better than this time last week.
For a few reasons, I don’t usually like writing about this stuff – and you may wonder what exactly it’s got to do with Me Made May, anyway?
What I love about Me Made May is something you find at the core of all good communities: a good idea driven by talented and like-minded people with something to share. I’ve long admired Zoe for starting it and everyone who takes part. I think we forget sometimes just how cool we are for making our own clothes. Sure, sewing’s a lot more popular than it used to be, but it’s really not that common a hobby. We kick ass!
I think celebrating my makes and the community I’m part of is probably exactly what I need right now to pick myself up from all of this nonsense. I know I’m going to be totally fine – I’ve started up yoga, been playing ukulele again (CLASSIC LONDON HIPSTER ALERT) and, of course, I’ve been sewing.
IF YOU’VE MADE IT THIS FAR, WELL DONE. Here’s my pledge:
‘I, Elena of Seamless, sign up as a participant of Me-Made-May ’15. I endeavour to wear at least one me-made garment a day for the duration of May 2015. If it’s not me-made, I will try to make sure it’s at least second-hand. I will endeavour to wear a completely me-made outfit at least once a week. I will also to my best to BE POSITIVE.’
I’m hoping to wear more me-made garments than not, but I need to be a bit more realistic as I’ve had to donate a bunch of stuff that didn’t fit anymore. Nowadays, I have a better handle on what styles and prints I’m more likely to wear and I always find Me Made May a useful way to figure out my wardrobe.
How about the rest of you? Are you Me Made Maying this year?